Nine Months is about as cliched as you can get. Samuel (Hugh Grant) is a selfish, immature child psychologist who has a lovely girlfriend, Rebecca (Julianne Moore). Everything seems to be going just fine - he has a Porsche and a great job - until disaster strikes! His girlfriend is pregnant. "No this can't be," he thinks to himself. "This is the end. No more independence. No more good times. I'm going to be saddled with a KID!"

His reaction is the typical Hollywood male's reaction to his predicament. And his girlfriend - following in this Hollywood style - is radiant, and exudes a inner glow as she cares for her offspring.

So what is a fella supposed to do? First, he denies it has happened. Then tries to persuade her to abort it. And finally accepts his role as a father, but not without the plot driven breakup and reunion.

If I sound cynical about this picture it's because it is so cliched and the characters are so plastic that you just laugh at them - not with them.

Most of the jokes that come in the film are sight gags, and the best of those are with Robin Williams, who plays a Russian doctor who just got off the boat. He stumbles through broken English as he explains to Grant and Moore, that he just got his license to practice gynecology. Jeff Goldblum is a starving artist who refuses to settle down.

Tom Arnold is an annoying pest in the film, playing a one-dimensional buffoon. He socks a Barney-look-a-like in a toy store and rages on screen. More than once, I wished someone would sock him one to get him off screen for a while.

The film is slow in parts and the jokes are predictable and not very funny. What's lacking is sincerity. It seems like the whole thing was thrown together with a disregard for character and the direction by Chris Columbus is poorly-paced.

Some of the scenes are simply silly; you tend to smile meekly at first, then nod in boredom, then grimace hoping it will end soon. What was needed was a good overhauling of the script with stronger characters and then the laughs would have been better.

Nine Months was definitely delivered to us prematurely.

Copyright (c) 1995 Tony Zidek