Vital Stats

• Agent #: 511
• Real Name: Classified
• Code Name: Sideshow Bob
• Aliases: Slideshow, Bobbie, Psycho Cat, Stupid Cat
• Color: White with occasional black splotches
• Age: Unknown
• Weapon Skills: Skilled use of fangs and claws, Catupult launching system
• Diplomatic Skills: Studied under the Atilla the Hun school of diplomacy
• Languages: Modified cat (no "meow"), Mouse ("squeak"), & Martian ("?")
• Identifying Marks: Red ears, extremely paranoid behavior, no manners

Case Files of Agent 511 : Sideshow Bob, aka. Slideshow

Case File #0001 : March 22, 1995

Special Agent 511 has been contemplating retirement. A spokesman for the Special Agents Union stated that she is concerned with the future of Special Agents in today's society. Apparently in an age of political correctness there is little room for her enormous ego. Modeling herself after James Bond of the movies by the same name, "to be a selfless secret agent would require me to be less then myself." Sources close to this most secretive of agents say she has become increasingly paranoid of anyone around her. Stay tuned for any new details on the rumors of Agent 511's possible retirement.

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Recent talk about Sideshow Bob's possible retirement has been halted by a news conference held today by Sideshow Bob herself. To the press she said "This talk about retirement is based on a misunderstanding. Where people thought that I said 'retirement'. i was actually talking about re-tireing the mint ice cream truck that my friend the Good Humor man had problems with last week. I have no intentions of retiring, because I don't really do anything, yet i get the money and prestige anyway. This whole incident just proves that people are stupid." None of the sources who brought her possible retirement to light could be reached for comment.