From melsbern@tuba.aix.calpoly.eduMon Jul 24 12:19:48 1995
Date: Thu, 20 Jul 1995 16:08:13 -0700 (PDT)
Tribapalooza '95: Foreign Versions of English 
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Signs as Seen in Foreign Countries...

In a Paris hotel elevator:
  Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
 The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
  You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
  Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
  Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in
  the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in
  the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
  Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
  Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
  Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
  Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute customers
  in strict rotation.

>From the Soviet Weekly:
  There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic
  painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Rome laundry:
  Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good
  time.

In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency:
  Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
  Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple:
  It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
  Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
  We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
   Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
   Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it
   to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
   Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
   The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance:
   - English well speaking
   - Here speeching American.