The Electric Chair is the admitted home page of my roommate Jesse Gearhart

• Opening Remarks: March 6, 1995
• Top Ten List -- Helpful Suggestions, Vol. 1
• The War Moves On: March 7, 1995
• The Thick of the Battle: March 7, 1995 (as well)
• Top Ten List -- Signs There's Something Fishy about the Electric Chair
• One Word for the Day -- March 21, 1995

Opening Remarks: March 6, 1995

Did I say Tacky? No way, it's timid, he's planning on a plaid homepage next week. He'll have the first offical Brady Bunch Web Page. Maybe even a Twinkies tribute page.

To even comprehend that his page shares the same apartment as mine...ewh!

I'm waiting to see a nude women align=center next to a picture of Calvin. How original. Sort of like Jay Leno trying to hack at what Carson did for so many years.

I'm trying to figure out why he doesn't get a bit bold, like putting a tribute to Rush Limbaugh on there. but woops, maybe i've encouraged him.

Anyway...here is my top ten list of things he could do to improve his home page:

Top Ten List -- Helpful Suggestions, Vol.1

• 10. Link to somewhere buddy!
• 9. Open a WINDOW and let in some fresh air.
• 8. Try at keep the color scheme toned down.
• 7. The unOFFICAL RUSH (limbaugh) page. where you mix RUSH and Rush Limbaugh together as one
• 6. Post your homework so we can at least get some value out of it as we copy down the answers
• 5. Get a live feed off USA so we can watch Quantum Leap.
• 4. At least harp on the Macintosh in some long-winded, drawn-out argument that at least has entertainment value.
• 3. Lighten up! Let some helium loose in your creative works.
• 2. One word: Barney!
• 1. Mujibar and Serijoul

The War Moves On: March 7, 1995

Besides the need to plagarize me and the need for a spell-checker, I give The Electric Chair applause for getting some spunk.

By the way, the top ten list idea was not mind for you to borrow, you have to seek rights to it from World Wide Pants.

If nothing more, this page allows me to add to the overwhelming confusion that some poor Web Browsers have to deal with. I'm crying for you:~(

As for the "competition", I am about as scared as I am of the Encylopedia Brittanica Boy coming after me in a deserted mall with cheese whiz

The Thick of the Battle: March 7, 1995 (as well)

That's what's wrong with the net these days: Gratuitous .gifs and .jpegs!

Hypocrisy!

Oh, the tangled Web we we weave, when we pratice to not sneeze...

I notice he's been watching a lot more Letterman lately, maybe he has finally been corrupted: Luke, come join the Dark side!

Someone has a contract out on america watch out! tell all your neighbors. beware!!

Top Ten List -- Signs There's Something Fishy about theElectric Chair

• 10. The UL-tested sticker makes me wonder how dangerous it is.
• 9. Cleans your hands while you do the dishes....wait a second...
• 8. I've seen blenders do more damage (but not cause more pain)
• 7. Can't seem to recharge it enough.
• 6. Forgot the Duracells.
• 5. I think we've had enough Capital punishment with the influx of republicans.
• 4. Those massaging rollers kinda sooth you as it kills.
• 3. I just saw the 2000 Flushes guy fiddling around in the tank.
• 2. What's with this name anyway??
• 1. Wasn't that...Mujibar and Serijoul?

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  One Word of the Day -- March 21, 1995

  Toilet Junkie!

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  THE ELECTIC CHAIR -- Are You Ready?

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  matte elsbernd - melsbern@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu